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In a recent Medium short read, I tentatively explored getting better acquainted with my inner abuser and abused.
I initially selected a mild trek, assuming it might be uncomfortable. I know there is an inner abuser, and an inner abused to deal with, but I’ve always preferred to ignore them the best I can. Instead, I address the abuse issue by doing what I can not to judge others for their behaviors. Eventually, though, I rack up a quantity of outward projections, and it comes time to turn them around as an opportunity for self-reflection.
Extensive observation of others’ examples of abusive engagement, whether as the abuser or the abused, provided me a roadmap for identifying my inner signs of similar behavior. The trek turned uncomfortable in the way weather can change from mild to stormy without warning. My inner abuser is skillful at stirring up self-doubt to such a degree I become paralyzed and terrified to make choices let alone follow them. He owns a toolbox crammed with tactics and tools such as shaming and shunning practice, scorn, dismissal, and mockery. My Inner Abused is a perfect counterpart…
