I’m a writer. My job is to consistently clear personal attachments so the content can flow through me. It is also my job to exercise my Max Perkins’ skill for shaping the content into a crafted piece. In the movie, Genius, a depiction of the working relationship between Thomas Wolfe and Max Perkins, the infamous Scribner editor, there was debate about who, really, wrote Wolfe’s books. Yes, Thomas was a pouring portal of rich, personally elicited content. On the other hand, Max had to consistently clear personal attachment, so he was able to actively listen to Wolfe and give the book an outer shape. Since I’m both Wolfe and Perkins, I’ve had to make friends with how the two roles work together.
I’ve always had plenty of content, ideas spouting and rushing to get out. At first, I resisted stepping alternately into Perkins’ role, strengthening personal detachment. I was really attached to my ideas! I just wasn’t so keen on sorting, categorizing, and filing them. Boring! And, though I know getting beyond attachment is a spiritual thing, and I’m keen on trekking the spiritual path, I wasn’t motivated to do the work it takes to develop unattachment.
I didn’t have much choice. At age nineteen, I signed a contract to pursue self-awareness my entire life through theatre, sports, movement, and writing. I don’t regret signing the contract, but it has been a brutal journey, and still, stepping into my Max Perkins’ persona muscle organization is challenging. Right now, I’m struggling with Distraction Addiction. Every morning I warm up to take on this worthy opponent.
Music is a key ingredient. I either select a Pandora radio station, a specific playlist I’ve compiled, random shuffle, or no music. For my warm-up, I focus on following the music. It’s a direct way to tap into my habits of getting distracted. I listen to the music, then start thinking about something related, and I’m off, having new ideas, again.
World sourcing, what used to be called research, opens the warm-up. I read the DailyOm focus of the day, my horoscope, and the Medium Digest. Some days are link-rich! When I’m in that zone, I’m the happiest. Harvesting ideas is the best! But, there is a strict rule in this writer’s hub. I’m no longer allowed to bring in ideas unless I take them into my Perkins’ booth to craft them without attachment first. I understand, even if I don’t like it.
The warm-up writing exercises are meant to be done without attachment as much as possible. This is where the urge to be distracted kicks in strong. I want to be perfect, and when I get distracted, I have temper tantrum fits and outbursts of contempt directed at myself. But I can’t help it. The more I narrow down to writing what I know, the more agitated I get. Distractions are my way out. I prefer to dream and play with ideas. Claiming my Perkins’ persona is mostly terrifying.
I use pattern games for unattached repetition practice. I frequently find it hilarious how reactive I am if I “fail” and have to start the game over. However, since I “fail” a lot, it is a great way to exercise my anchoring skills.
Typically, I arrive at the “serious” writing part of my day after lunch. This is where I expect myself to step into my Perkins’ persona, to sit down and craft. At this point, everything looks more interesting. I want to iron, wash dishes, vacuum, even. Or I want to head to the pub where I take some of my best notes, have some of my greatest ideas. When the energetic and emotional pull intensifies, I visualize grabbing hold of my anchor pole and follow the music.
My relationship with music has deepened, leading me to potential healing properties. Crossing musical decades opens up portals of my past that I have come to shut down or have forgotten. Every song is a story of composition, creation, individual artists, bands, tech, promotion, fans, and social perspective. Listening to music or not while I write has trained me to listen better to my characters’ musical “score” and my writing rhythm.
Sometimes I resent my job. My Perkins’ persona seems lonely and kind of sad, and my Wolfe persona is flamboyant and passionate. I’m drawn to the latter and resistant to the former. I know, I know, I signed a contract. It’s my job to get them working together. That’s where the flow leads toward the Spiritual Core!
