Member-only story
The social conversation has always been puzzling and frustrating. I saw conversation as some conveyor belt, and getting on it required timing. I studied how others fit in and out of the conversation, yet, I inevitably ended up stalling the communication when I joined. I assumed an observer role in my young teens, and then I became impatient with my social limitations. Theatre allowed me to assume characters and have a voice through them. I gave local readings of my short fiction, generated followers, and then stepped into the Director's Shoes. From there, it was an easy bridge to coaching, and I thrived in this environment for thirty years.
As a coach, I controlled the narrative. I wrote the lesson plans, taught the classes, and produced events for a growing audience. My need to be heard calmed down, and I assumed I was comfortably on the communication conveyor belt. Except, my domestic life proved differently. The intimate long-termed relationships I had, including a ten-year marriage, were with women who didn't want to be coached and imposed rules that I didn't understand. Typically I either shut down or exploded with frustration. Not the most fantastic range for developing trust.
By this time I turned forty-six, I figured the next best thing was to turn my coaching inward. Good choice, though eye-opening. I called on Inner Observer, and he came back with four tactics I could strengthen to improve my communication conveyor approach. The first one, Cut 'em Off, is boxing familiar. A boxer must know how to cut…
