My Older Brother Is Not The Gatekeeper To My Father

Cap Kotz
2 min readJun 1
Author and Midjourney

As my older brother, by two years, ventures down a different memory path, I come to terms with our differences. As far as I can see, he doesn’t connect his memories with me or any other family member. However, he does speak of studying the physical map of the small seaport town we live in, with him entering his seventh month, and I’m riding the waves at 4 1/2 years.

I offer to explore the map together, and he seems confused as to what value that might provide. Then I verbally stumble, trying to link to his teenage pals with whom he sailed the waters of the area, and though he readily remembers them, he doesn’t connect to the present, as if all those years they were together mean nothing. Though he and I are the two first siblings in a family of four, we have different memories.

I remember watching my older brother set off into the watery horizon with his close buddies and receiving no report. They returned, left, and returned, but I never was included, and now I understand he shared his adventures with no one. And, though he practiced Transcendental Meditation with these close friends, he no longer remembers this. So here I am, approaching 70, longing for familial support in the meaning of the afterlife, and my older brother doesn’t remember he once dedicated his life to an Eastern Practice known for its spiritual wisdom.

Where does this understanding leave me? Prompting Midjourney for an image of these young sailors in hopes I might cross paths with a journey I can connect with, even though I know my brother’s inner intent never entered the digital database for AI Mining.

Cap Kotz

Writer and Story Mapping Guide, I follow the life path no matter how challenging.