Suppressed Feeling LockDown

Cap Kotz
3 min readOct 17, 2024
Author and MJ

I primarily identify as a Release Worker in this lifetime. I signed a pre-birth contract to shoulder a specified generational and cultural Family Legacy load upon birth, accepted Family Download throughout Infant and Toddler Zones (eventually Identified as IFS), and entered the Social System at age 6 with Soldier Behavioral tendencies.

A soldier's training is typically associated with the military, but some habits cross into other fields of upbringing. I used a stiff, protected presence for the SurfaceWorld, keeping with a Soldier's preparedness for action. I fiercely silenced feelings and emotions. And I willingly sacrificed myself for the good of the mission.

Fortunately, I read every book I could get my hands on and found self-reflection in the stories, even though I didn't know how to acknowledge or express it. No one was asking, anyway, so there wasn't much need. As the teenage years moved in, I reached to the milder drugs to access The Inner Realm, but I still had no way of bridging communication to the SurfaceWorld.

Things eased up in my Young Adult years because I found an audience for my written words and formed a family and community of my doing. I still didn't grasp my primary Release Worker Role, though I declared to a lover when I planned on becoming a ShapeShifter. Little did I know to what extent I would achieve that.

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Cap Kotz
Cap Kotz

Written by Cap Kotz

Writer and Story Mapping Guide, I follow the life path no matter how challenging.

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