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Symptom Bearer

Cap Kotz
2 min readAug 4, 2023
Author and MJ

The Symptom Bearer role is complex. Carrying the weight of hidden family feelings is no joke. I’ve come upon ravines to be crossed, rivers to swim, and catacombs to be explored.

When interviewed as an Xtreme Symptom Bearer Trekker, I frequently say, “Bearing the weight of the Past is felt by everyone, and it is the Symptom Bearers who can contribute most to releasing this weight.”

A Symptom Bearer is aware of a Feeling Language not acknowledged by the Family System in which they were raised. I was raised in a mid-fifties American Society that had yet to recognize family dysfunction. So, I learned about relational dynamics from great writers of the time — Steinberg, Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Cather, Pearl S. Buck, and The Hardy Boys. I saw myself as a cowboy, secret agent, spy, or a smooth singer and dancer, always getting what I wanted, cool and collected.

A Symptomer bearer is many things. I had to learn how to hack Common Language Code to find Portals leading to Hidden Feelings, mine this data, sort and file for effective future access, and find ways to keep myself from getting lost in overwhelming and unbearable sensations. It is easy to label such sensations as pain. To lock into stories of disorder and other stigmatization tactics. But I learned to treat life as a neverending white water rafting expedition. I got dumped and nearly died countless times, and I developed an inner awareness of weather, currents, and tides that kept me in the boat for extended periods.

Now, it has come time to access the filed data. I bring my raft to shore and hop out. All my life, I’ve deposited copious notes, story fragments, technique and tactic designs, and a multitude of tools in various banks along the river. I have a well-worn map with red Xs marking the locations, though I frequently have to update my Life Hacking license to crack the door. My characters are developing in leaps and bounds with the new data deluge — no AI for them, known to be monochromatic by nature because it’s artificial. The data I’ve accumulated is the real deal, and I can honestly follow in teh footsteps of great writers of old.

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Cap Kotz
Cap Kotz

Written by Cap Kotz

Writer and Story Mapping Guide, I follow the life path no matter how challenging.

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