Following an accidental exposure to gamma rays during the detonation of an experimental bomb, Bruce Banner is physically transformed into the Hulk when subjected to emotional stress, at or against his will, often leading to destructive rampages and conflicts that complicate Banner’s civilian life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulk_(comics)
Banner and Hulk occupy the same body at different times. Banner is physically weak, socially withdrawn, and emotionally reserved. Hulk, a green-skinned, hulking and muscular humanoid, possesses a vast degree of physical strength. The two exist as independent personalities resentful of the other.
America has long raised men to be ashamed of feelings, in particular if crying is involved. The tradition, disconnecting men from their feelings, cultivates a toxic shame battleground. Men are encouraged to choose tough over weak, to dominate others who are weak as a way of taking trophies, proving their manhood. We have long suffered the effects of the Banner-Hulk syndrome.
Anyone who is told they are weak for feeling and expressing emotion will experience some kind of inner rage. Women are commonly taught they are weak for crying, but not necessarily told to get over it. They are weak. Men do not want to be weak, like women, and they are encouraged to be tough, instead. Everyone suffers.
We are a culture that embraces emotional intelligence (EI). Emotional intelligence is the capability of individuals to recognize their own and other people’s emotions. Emotional information provides us with an accurate picture of what we are experiencing in the present, and how to use the Banner --Hulk range more effectively.
Repressing emotion does enrage. But, men are now told they can’t rage, be hulk-like in their behavior, can’t dominate others and shore up their self esteem on acts of violence. Yet, they can’t cry, either. This limits their range of life experience to a shallow middle ground perspective. The answer is to expand the range. Cry more, at both ends.
When you are Banner, a physical weakling, insecure and withdrawn, you are stressed. This emotional stress triggers off Hulk. Hulk is out of control and Banner is responsible for clearing up the messy aftermath. He has to apologize and pay penance, all of which builds his resentment and eventually triggers off another emotional stress attack; Hulk roars to the surface to demolish and sometimes champion good causes. What if Hulk were asked to be a champion of feeling emotions and actually crying?
Hulk can do that. He can burst to the surface, enraged at being shamed, yet calm down enough to be a powerful spokesperson for letting go old traditions of seeing crying as weak. Banner can be in his corner. They can work together. Banner is strong enough to feel insecure, but not strong enough to stand up and declare it is not a sign of weakness, that crying is a healthy practice. But Hulk is strong enough to stand up and make these impassioned declarations. It might take some time, but Banner and Hulk can work together.
