Last week, I visited Self Pity Ville to play slots, gamble away my achievements, and won a free Ultimate Gym Training Session. On my way home, I stopped by the gym, and the Front Desk Guy pointed out the Fine Print Disclosure: Good for One Themed Narrative Workout/Self Pity. I had pictured taking an exhilarating VR Zipline with a Prototype Match ride and dancing with Self Pity paled by comparison.
The Site Tech adjusted my Booth Settings, and I put on the goggles and haptic gloves. My MO (Muscle Organization) Readout appeared on the lower left screen, revealing a reddish Shoulder Slump and foggy knees, signs of stress edging into Dissociative Depression, a territory I frequently call home.
Prompt: Select a Self Pity Prototype
Eeyore
Jesse Eiosenberg’s portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network
A little kid having a meltdown
Game of Throne’s character, Dolorous Edd’s use of sarcastic, pessimistic humor
I chose Eeyore because, for all of his mopey, self-pitying ways, he’s lovable and surrounded by friends who remind him of this constantly. Though I’m not part of a tight-knit friend group, I am close to my many Inner Personas, and it’s always fun to switch up their roles.
